On the rocky road of Love, some of the deep potholes you encounter can cause a blowout. Careful driving with both eyes on the road will help you avoid the innumerable hazards that can wreck your precious bond. Relationships need attention and care, much like a car needs gas, a tune-up and an oil change every 3,000 miles. On your journey of love, prevent the three most treacherous and common relationship pitfalls.

Money, insecurity and fear of change are three demons that can spell doom for a relationship. We will examine each hot spot and create a set of affirmations that will keep your relationship humming.

Pitfall One: Money

Money is not the greatest hazard to your relationship that everyone believes it to be. Money just makes the easiest argument, guaranteed to put everyone at odds. Money casts a weird spell in very unpredictable ways. The people who have much money tend to be very worried about losing it. To those with little, money is a constant concern, pain and need. Money drives some people mad. It urges others to steal and kill. Some don't have a care or worry about it. But to many, money becomes a sensitive hot button issue. Money is a scapegoat, an excuse catch-all for many other issues and problems. Your soulmate may scream, "How much did you spend on those damn curtains?!," but what he would rather honestly admit is, "Honey, I feel like you've been pushing me away and I am lonely."
Money is always the easiest excuse. Everyone uses it. Someone is either spending too much or too little. Money is the easiest way to start an argument. When your boss yells at you for someone else's mistake, you can work the hurt feelings out in the gym or you can go home and pick a fight with your mate. "Do you really need that Porsche?" If you are angry that he has left the sink full of dirty dishes, push some buttons and remind him that he is not bringing home enough bacon. Money causes mayhem. It is the easiest way to insult and anger the one you love. Our society places a great deal of importance and imagined power on money. Your wealth is your stature. In a relationship, money can easily corrupt your pure love.
If we strip it naked, money is merely a unit of measure, an accounting tool. Money is a means of trade and exchange. Money holds no value in the strength of your relationship. Money can never be a symbol of your romantic achievements. Your partnership is the focus of your greatest success. The health, direction and progress of your partnership are where your greatest riches lie.

When the fires of a money argument start to smolder, step aside and ask, "What is the underlying problem here? What are we really arguing about?" Arguments over money rarely have anything to do with finances. Exhaust all your possibilities. What started your disagreement? Look for feelings of anger, resentment or failures with the zeal of a crime scene investigator. Who knows? At the end of the day, you may discover that nothing is amiss and the electric bill really is overdue.



Pitfall Two: Insecurity

What is the difference between a relationship and a partnership? A relationship implies love and romance. A partnership sounds more like a business deal, with roles and responsibilities carefully defined. You are seeking a healthy love with elements of both. A relationship is made up of You, Me and Us.

Often times, love and emotion get tangled in mixed feelings and painful insecurities. In the workplace, none of that is tolerated. As a partner in love, you must balance yourself with heart and with your mind. Living closely and intimately is a wonderful thing. But it must be managed.

Insecurity can arise when your mate participates in activities and interests without you. However, partners must have their own identity respected and acknowledged. Together, you share mutual interests. Separately, you pursue your own. You and your mate are two independent individuals who have partnered to pursue a common goal. "Happily ever after" needs definition. Ask, "Together, what does a happy life mean to you, me and us?" Create concrete goals. Love will never be far away.



Pitfall Three: Change

In Life, you seek stability, looking for the things that you can trust, count on and believe in. You expect the same from a relationship. As human beings, we naturally seek an order to our ever-changing world. Stability is elusive to embrace. Stability rarely exists. By accepting the reality of our world and the need to embrace change, we create a greater worldview of Life. It allows us to discern the difference between the things we can worry about and those that we should not bother about.

What can you change? And what are the things over which you have no control? The earth that stands so firmly beneath your feet is an illusion. Everything changes. Terra Firma appears stable, but in reality, the earth's crust is very, very thin. There is little that protects us from the molten lava core of our planet Earth. An earthquake is a terribly frightening and beautifully awe-inspiring event. A quake is a reminder of how fragile our existence is. Nature is always blooming and decaying. Accept Change. It's happening whether you like it or not. An appreciation of Change will become the life force and strength of your Love.

True Love is never easy. Like all good things in life, your relationship needs attention and maintenance. Check the oil. Wash the car. Keep the air in your tires. Hit the gas and let your love fly.

 

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Embracing Uncertainty in Life and Love

The only thing that's certain is uncertainty. Life is change and growth and evolution, which can be exhilarating but change can also feel taxing and painful. Change creates new tensions and uncertainties in our lives. There are so many events over which we have no control. Can you let go of control? In doing so, you are able to step back and appreciate the wonder of our world and learn to embrace uncertainty, a fearsome, yet beautiful certainty of life.
To embrace uncertainty is one of the highest levels of spiritual growth. It demands a high level of spiritual fitness. We have all had moments of great clarity, when the world revolves and spins in perfect harmony with our own rhythm, like a precisely calibrated grandfather clock.
You seek to find the highest level of your spiritual development. This is your enlightenment. As you grow and learn, new ascendancies offer greater rewards. One of these gifts and skills is an ability to embrace Uncertainty. All you can do is exhale. Breathe deeply. Relentlessly ride on through the cycles of your life.
To embrace uncertainty in Love and Life, you need an understanding of the world and your place in it. Look for the interconnectivity in all things. You are a part of the network. You will come to appreciate the joy of change, like a cheese connoisseur favors a washed rind.
We are not programmed to embrace uncertainty and fear. It goes against our nature. It triggers our fight or flight instincts. Carefully examine the situation. Put a light into the dark places. Dig deep and objectively and you will begin to understand what you fear. In the end, it is all quite simple. You will find your worries are baseless or understandable. There are many layers of confusion to sort through when we examine what we are afraid of. All it takes is time and clarity.
This level of objectivity is required to embrace the uncertainties of Love. In Love, you bond for the comfort and security of a safe place. Safety is generally incompatible with change and this is where the danger lies. You must step back and always keep an eye on your relationship from a distance. Perspective is oxygen to Love. Sometimes you get so confused and enmeshed in the details, it is easy to lose sight of the big picture of the grand design.
This perspective will remind you that Love is like a river - it keeps rolling along. The stability of your Love is as secure as a wide raft on a wild river ride. Your Love will always be tossed about, cresting waves and plunging down the trough. But you stay together. Your ideal relationship is akin to a long-lasting, deeply felt friendship. You have a partner with whom you will navigate Life. The unit that you create, by its nature, is always growing and evolving.
Uncertainty in Love is like fertilizer for a flower. It keeps things fresh and exciting. Love does not have to be uncertain or suspicious. Together, you can make an adventure of the rocks and potholes in the road of your journey. You must treat all of the hardships that Life tosses in your way as grand entertainment.
You must have faith in the evolution of your Love, the belief that your Love will triumph through all challenges, evolutions and uncertainties. This is how you embrace uncertainty. This is how you embrace Life. Find comfort in the process of the journey.
Where does uncertainty originate? Why do we doubt? If your sweet pure soul were never influenced, you would never know uncertainty. Other people have influenced your Life. Circumstances, tragic and transcendent, have forged your character. You have been taught to worry about many things. Use this knowledge to maintain your perspective. You can disown the worry.
On a physical level, laughter is a fast and easy way to embrace uncertainty. Laughter can relax you. It can cut a bully of a problem down to size. You don't need a joke to laugh. You can fake it. Your body does not have a sense of humor, but it does know the physical sensations of laughter. When you laugh, you breathe deeply, using all of your lungs. Your body moves and relaxes. Laugh and you will embrace uncertainty. To laugh is to breathe.
Embracing uncertainty is one of the most difficult things you can ever do. The action resides on the highest levels of spiritual growth. This is the goal for the enlightened: To embrace uncertainty.

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